Coping with Loss & Grief


Module 4 page 1

Just remember one fact — loneliness will pass.
You will survive and you will be a better human for it.
— Douglas Coupland

Everyone hungers for the satisfaction of deep intimate personal relationships. Loneliness is the result of the sudden removal of a person's source of that satisfaction.

Everyone experiences loneliness. It is an ingredient of grief, but also it is a part of human existence. God did not create loneliness, it exists as a result of separation caused by the entrance of evil into this world. Every stage of life has its share of the differing kinds of loneliness, ranging from loneliness due to birth through to the loneliness of abandonment in old age.

Loneliness hits hardest some months after the funeral
During the first few months people are too busy to be really lonely. The have their hands so full with being numb with shock, denying the loss, being angry, guilty and trying to come to grips with business matters that they don't have time to feel the full impact of raw loneliness.

Those who do not fight their grief, but let it happen naturally, develop sufficient coping powers to manage their loneliness. The sooner and more intensely grieving is done in the early months after the loss, the easier it is to handle the ensuing loneliness.

Adequate support systems during early grief have a marked influence on the development of new and renewed friendships that help soften the experience of loneliness.

A safeguard against being crushed by loneliness is to prepare for it in advance. There are three vital factors which contribute towards the preparation to handle loneliness. The first is to develop a healthy sense of individuality and independence. The second is, when loss comes, grieve early and adequately . The third is to build and strengthen your network of supporting relationships.

There are no replays in life. The best we can do is to learn from our mistakes and and determine to make the present count.

If you strive for simplicity in your life, you will find that you will have time and space for the little graces that create meaning and richness.

Meaning must develop in your life before loneliness can be dispelled.

The Action Plan contains helful practises taken from the book Grief Recovery by Larry Yeagley.

Discovery . . . Relief . . . Recovery . . . Hope

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